Where has my motivation gone and how do I get it back?

Ironically, as I begin to write this post on motivation, I'm feeling incredibly unmotivated. I've already opened this document about a dozen times, started at the blinking cursor, then closed it again. I noticed myself waiting for a feeling of impulse that will drive me to get started - but it hasn’t come and that's exactly what I want to explore: Motivation (the feeling) is not the starting point.

Motivation is the result of acting. Action comes first; motivation follows.

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We tend to believe that motivation is something we need in order to get started on something. We picture a rush of energy, a flash of clarity, or some internal click that finally makes it feel easy to begin. You might have even said, “I’ll do it when I feel ready,” assuming if you wait long enough, the desire to act will eventually show up and carry you forward.

You might be thinking, that’s not true—I’ve felt motivation before, and it helped me push through. And that may be the case. But I’d encourage you to look more closely at what came before that surge of motivation—I’d bet there was some form of action, however small, that came first.

Here’s a breakdown of what I mean.

Motivation is often a response, not a trigger. It’s what builds when we’ve already started moving—when we’ve taken a small step, sent the email, put on our running shoes, opened the document. In those moments, we shift from thinking about doing the thing to being in it. And that shift creates momentum.

The problem is, we wait for motivation as if it’s a green light. But often, the light turns green after we move.

It’s not that motivation doesn’t matter—it can feel amazing when it’s there. But it’s unreliable. It comes and goes. What truly drives us over the long term is structure, habits, and discipline.

Discipline is the structure we return to when motivation doesn’t show up. And the truth is, discipline doesn’t have to mean pushing through with gritted teeth. At its best, it’s kind. It says: I know you’re tired, distracted, overwhelmed—but here’s what we do next. It’s a steady rhythm we can rely on, rather than a fleeting mood.

The more we build habits and structure around the things that matter to us, the less we must wait for motivation to feel “right.”

Discipline asks: What kind of person do I want to be, and what does that person do—even when it’s not easy?

We often think we need to feel motivated to act—but most of our actions are driven by quieter emotions: meaning, pride, or the desire to feel aligned with who we are.

And just as emotion drives action, action shapes our identity. Each time we show up, even in a small way, we reinforce a story about ourselves: I'm someone who follows through. Over time, that becomes a deeper form of motivation—one built on trust in ourselves, not a passing feeling.

We wait to feel different so we can act. But often, it’s the action that shifts how we feel.

If motivation isn’t the spark we can count on, then what can help us get started?

Here are a few things I return to when I feel stuck:

1. Start small.
Very small. Lower the bar until it feels almost too easy. Write one sentence. Put on your shoes. Open the tab. Tiny actions reduce resistance and create movement.

2. Create a rhythm.
Structure makes things easier to return to. Whether it’s a weekly routine, a time of day, or a reminder in your calendar—make it feel automatic, not like a decision you must struggle to make each time.

3. Attach actions to identity.
Instead of “I need to do this,” try “This is something I do.” It’s a small shift that roots your actions in who you want to be, not just what’s on your to-do list.

4. Remember your ‘why’.
Reconnect with what matters. Even a vague sense of purpose (this helps me feel more grounded, more like me) can be more powerful than waiting for a big surge of motivation.