How to build and break habits to reach your goals

Have you ever stopped to reflect on where your time goes each day?

How much time do you spend on sleep, preparing food, working, scrolling on your phone, or hobbies? Maybe you believe you have no time for a hobby or exercise.

There is an approach therapists use with clients who struggle with low mood that is based on the idea that practicing certain behaviors can shift your emotional state. It starts with tracking every activity in your day and linking it to your mood.

I’ve tried this myself, and the results were eye-opening. How much time I spent on my phone, lying in bed, watching TV, thinking about what food to make, and then scrolling on my phone again—it was a wake-up call, to say the least.

Monitoring your daily activity is a powerful step toward implementing change. The first step is becoming aware of how much time you spend on activities that don’t benefit you. The next is introducing habits that do.

To achieve a goal—whether it’s building muscle, getting back into reading, growing your client list, or completing a painting—you need to break it down into achievable, trackable habits.

Psychologist Wendy Wood found that 43% of our daily actions are habits. So how do we create ones that last?

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, outlines “The Habit Loop,” which consists of four components: Cue, Craving, Response, and Reward.

photo from jamesclear.com

• Cue: What triggers your brain to initiate the habit (make it obvious!)

• Craving: The motivation for the reward (make it attractive!)

• Response: The action of the habit (make it easy!)

• Reward: What you get for completing the habit (make it satisfying!)
  
  The more satisfying the reward, the more likely you are to stick with it. For example, crossing off a task on a to-do list feels gratifying, so we’re more likely to do it.

Understand How a Habit Develops

Understanding how a habit develops can help you break it. Let’s look at an example:

• Cue: You’re in a company meeting.

• Craving: You feel overwhelmed and want to feel more in control.

• Response: You bite your nails.

• Reward: You reduce your stress by focusing on something you can control.

  
  

  Biting your nails becomes unconsciously linked to being in meetings. Now, let’s apply the Habit Loop to a habit you want to create or break.

Building a Habit

Want to start going to the gym in the morning?

• Cue (make it obvious!): Lay out your gym clothes the night before.

• Craving (make it attractive!): Plan to work out with a friend, so you look forward to seeing them.

• Response (make it easy!): Write out your workout plan beforehand, so there’s no thinking involved.

• Reward (make it satisfying!): Grab a coffee with your friend after the workout.

Breaking a Habit

Want to limit your time on social media to under 30 minutes a day?

• Cue (make it invisible!): Turn off social media notifications.

• Craving (make it unattractive!): Change your phone to black and white to make content less engaging.

• Response (make it hard!): Leave your phone in another room when you get home or while eating.

• Reward (make it unsatisfying!): Have a partner remind you of your goal or set up app blockers that alert you when you’ve reached your time limit.

Final Thoughts

If you’re thinking, “Easier said than done,” you’re not alone. Creating habits—and breaking them—can be challenging. But what makes this approach effective is its intentionality and manageable steps.

You can either set a vague goal and struggle to reach it, or you can spend time breaking down the systems that will get you there. Which do you think is more likely to succeed?